HUMOR DICTIONARY OF USEFUL RESEARCH PHASES

“It has long been known…” – I didn’t look it up the original references.

“A definite trend is evident…” – These data are practically meaningless.

“Of great theoretical and practical importance…” – Interesting to me!

“While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions…” – An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

“Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study…” – The results of the others didn’t make any sense.

“Typical results are shown…” – The best results are shown.

“These results will be shown in a subsequent report…” – I might get around to this if I’m pushed.

“The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones…” – He was my graduate assistant.

“It believed that…” – I think.

“It is generally believed that…” – A couple of other guys think so, too.

“It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of the phenomenon occurs…” – I don’t understand it.

“Correct within an order of magnitude… ” – It is wrong.

“It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field…” – It is a lousy paper, but so all these others on this miserable topic.

“A careful analysis of obtainable data…” – Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.

D.X.Thao (collected)